We lead our
relationships scared of one day not being good enough anymore for the person we
chose to be everything for. Every moment that defies us to express our
imperfections, our flaws, our weaknesses brings a new load of fear of being
“found out”, being seen in a new light, a slightly less flattering one. And the
big irony of it is that being vulnerable is what attracts the other human being
to you. We all live in that same fear and finding someone who shows how
flawed they are to us is a comfort in a
very deep and intimate way. It is like a shot of relief, “Look at that, that
one is broken just like me. Phew!”. And yet we carry on feeling ashamed of
every little wrong step we take, every opportunity we miss, every
procrastination day, every time we are not strong enough to stand up for
ourselves. We fear so much that in those moments every other little thing we
have disappears. The fact that we are wonderful partners, dedicated friends,
passionate lovers. They disappear in the fog of disappointment, the
disappointment we have in ourselves. The chance of having screwed up our image
to this amazing being who has chosen us. Little do we realize the only being
seeing us in such dark light is ourselves. The one on the other side of the
table feels only compassion, and honestly a little bit of relief for having another
weirdo sitting in front of them.
